A couple Saturday's ago I prepared a Combat! recap. Here it is.

Combat!

Season 1 Episode 15:”Just for the Record”

The episode opens with a farm in Normandy, and a cat inside an abandoned house (I'm wondering if it’s Altman who seems to have an affinity for cats—but it's not). The muzzle of a familiar Thompson pushes through the doorway. The familiar carrier follows. Saunders voice narrates the scene. They’re searching: 8 men and 20 farms to search—in the quiet, hidden danger. Saunders wanders about the house, rolling the search dice. At last there’s something. It’s the cat giving a troubled yowl. Saunders finds a record player. He starts to listen to the recording his mom made for him. The cat meows, and Saunders agrees, “It’s a little too risky.” He’s right. The DM has rolled for wandering monsters. German soldiers burst through the door.

And the opening credits roll. Combat! Starring Vic Morrow and Rick Jason. Guest starring Micheline Presle—and the name Micheline and the location given at the opening of the episode convince me that there will be some French spoken. Written by William Bast. Directed by Lazlo Benedek.

We’ve got a couple trucks passing beneath the opening credits. It looks like Saunders is loaded in with other POWs. They’re a hundred kilometers within occupied France. The POWs—or NPCs, as I like to call them—include, among others, a wounded soldier and a French civilian.

There’s an explosion and Saunders’ truck (or large van) noses into a shell hole. They hear gunfire. When the guard inside opens the door, Saunders pushes him out. A French partisan relieves the young German soldier of his hit points. The French NPC from inside the van shows his handcuffs and tells them where to find the key on the dead soldier.

French NPC enters a small establishment which reminds me of a place in a previous episode where Hanley met a British woman at a table. In this case, it’s a French woman named Annette. She’s wearing a beret. (Notice how I avoided the whole “A French woman in a beret named Annette” phrasing that would have required an explanation about whether it was the woman or the beret named Annette). French NPC needs gas but has no ration coupons. Annette has overheard and enters the conversation. She also wants to return to Paris, and her father used to work for French NPC. The bridge is out, yet he is driving to Paris. Annette has coupons.

In his big van full of produce and POWs, French NPC drives Ms. Beret in the rain. Her coupons and her cigarettes come from a suspicious source. They come to a checkpoint. Their papers appear to pass inspection, but the guards must also check the back.

They pass, but Ms. Beret is now alerted to the fact that someone is in the back of the van. French NPC tells her there are 3 men: an American and 2 Canadians. Beret is not happy and wants no part of this smuggling of illegal aliens to Paris. She will not be a coyote.

They stop at a town about 5 kilometers from Paris. NPC leaves the van to get another man. Beret is left there alone, and a German officer arrives in a car.

In the side mirror, Beret sees the German bring French NPC with another out and place them into the car. Oops, I assumed. NPC does not go peacefully into the car. He breaks away and discovers that his sprinting speed is indeed much slower than that of the bullets from a German submachine gun. AND then they load him into the car. Beret decides to take a walk, but reconsiders. She slides open the little door between the cab and the rear of the van to let the POWs know that French NPC has been taken. Saunders convinces her to take them to the tobacco shop where NPC had intended. She didn’t want to do it, but Saunders kissed the dice for luck and rolled a moderate success on the charm attempt.

At the tobacco shop, the proprietor was expecting only one NPC, not three—and they have four men waiting already. He scores a high persuasion roll and convinces Beret, against her will and better judgment, to take two one of them with her. (We can bet who one of them it will be, no?)

Saunders and Beret walk the street and go to her rather spacious apartment. She puts him in what was the maid’s room. He appreciates what she’s doing, and she hates what she’s doing. Behind the knock at the door is a German officer whom Beret was not expecting until later. He has champagne, silk stockings, and lips to present to her. They’re all warm. They are lovers.

After the officer has gone, Beret and Saunders have dinner. She is not from Paris. He is from Cleveland. Beret plays his record from home. It’s his mother. She calls him Chip.

His sister Louise talks on the other side of the record and plays a popular song from home. The music provides an opportunity for Saunders and Beret to dance. She says this isn’t her war. Saunders tells her that it’s everybody’s war. I’m expecting the German officer to show up and discover the record on the player. And he does – show up, that is. Saunders takes away his plates and wine glass to his room, but the record is still on the player, and the player is open. I can’t stop imagining that he’s going to discover the record.

Officer tells Beret that he knows the Germans are losing, that Berlin lies to them, and his fourteen year-old brother has been taken into the army. He will soon have to evacuate Paris and leave her. He sees the record. Beret tells him she got it on her trip. It was taken from a captured American and she thought it would amuse the officer—and rolls a natural 20. He believes her. All that worry for nothing.

The next morning Beret brings Saunders breakfast, letting him know that she won’t be back until the night. Cut to night. The phone is ringing and Saunders tells it to shut up. Cowed by the sergeant’s voice of command, the ringing ceases. He hears Beret and her officer drive up below the window, and he hurries to remove any traces of his presence. While Officer goes to shave (who shaves at night?), Beret takes a call. Saunders has to leave immediately. He has to board a barge on the canal—but Saunders, who can lay a sneak on absolutely anyone it seems, fumbles the dice and fails his sneak roll. The Officer catches him before can get out of the apartment.

Officer is calling for backup. Beret tries to persuade him against that course, but she rolls snake-eyes. When Officer shoves her away, Saunders sees his chance. They struggle. The gun goes off, and officer fails the saving throw. Before his final hit points goosestep into the sunset, he admonishes Beret to go with Saunders so the Gestapo won’t take her. As Saunders and Beret leave, the Gestapo arrives.

At the canal, they meet the NPC with the wounded arm. We’re up against the final plot twist now. The complication here is three intoxicated Germans on the bridge. Neither Beret nor wounded NPC can swim. The DM has two of the soldiers depart, leaving their comrade passed out on the bridge. Wounded NPC goes to cross first, and German soldier makes his saving throw, rising up to accost NPC. They struggle. Billy Guard Gruff throws NPC over the side of the bridge before Saunders can get to him. NPC screams for help in the water while Saunders rolls a tragic failure on his dice and manages to let the intoxicated guard get him at a disadvantage. Beret offers a solution to Saunders' problem. She rolls for a sneak attack and successfully plunges Billy Guard Gruff’s own bayonet into his back. NPC has already dropped below the surface of the water for the last time—what with having an injured arm AND not being able to swim. Saunders and Beret cross the bridge. On the barge, Beret collapses in tears.

The barge drops them at the next point where they meet two British officers, Hat and No Hat, disguised as civilians. They have to divide the group with half going with each Brit. Beret goes with No Hat. Saunders goes with Hat.

Cut to Saunders with his men. They’re questioning him about his escape. He sends them off so he can write a letter to his mother and sister, thanking them for the record.

Conclusion:

I didn’t get to hear any French. I saw little of the squad other than Saunders. There wasn’t any classic combat, and only a single instance of machine gun fire—Germans spraying an unarmed civilian. I did predict the complication with the officer finding the record—but I was manipulated into worrying about it, so no points for that. I would say the struggle with the officer for the pistol, and the officer’s demise constituted the third act climax, with the struggle on the bridge ending the fourth act. The brief fifth act simply wrapped it up. Over all, it wasn’t a terrible episode. I give it three out of five bayonets.

Interestingly, as I review this now over a week later, before adding the pictures, I cannot get an image of Beret in my mind—I keep envisioning Inger Stevens, who would have been perfect in the role. Of course, you’re seeing this with the pictures I’ve added and saying, “She’s nothing like Inger Stevens.” I know.

Is life/memory like that? We replay things that happened in the texture or color with which we are familiar. The more aged the memory, the more default texture fills in the blanks. Eventually, I may think that Inger Stevens was actually in this episode when I remember it.

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After finishing the paperback formatting, I needed a treat. I invited myself to watch a Combat! episode during the week. Here's the recap.

Combat!

Season 1 Episode 14:”The Medal”

Written by Richard Maibaum. Directed by Paul Stanley.

The episode opens with a view through binoculars (see picture above). Cut to the squad and Hanley behind a stone wall. They’re cutting through to reach the highway near Corbeil (or somewhere that sounds like it). The Germans are at some town, Malon, three miles further east. Cut to the episode’s NPCs  guest players, not mere NPCs—they joined for an evening of gaming after having heard about all the fun Saunders and the gang have been having. It looks like Frank Gorshin--.

(with much less makeup that he had in that Star Trek episode which ranks among the least rewatchable on my list)—and Joseph Campanella.

Freddy (Gorshin) has a blister. Vince (Campanella) is a married man with a child. Saunders interrupts the chatting men to tell them to get up and move out. The squad goes over the broken wall, moving forward to ominous music. There’s a tank under camouflage! And German soldiers! It looks like an ambush!

Roll the opening credits. Cue the bayonets and helmets. (I must admit that Combat! has one of the best and most memorable opening credits ever – I’ve probably mentioned it before, but it’s been a while since I treated myself to one of these episodes).

The tank opens fire, but the soldiers remain hidden. The squad makes a saving throw against shrapnel damage – getting double nines (I use 2d10s in this game) for the successful save as they all scramble for cover. When the tank cruelly murders a tree without any provocation, Hanley orders the squad back to the wall. The MG atop the tank delivers a series of dots and gashes to a fleeing American. The rest make it back to the wall (which now looks like a prop covered with a painted cloth where Saunders rolls over it). Except Vince and Freddy are in a shell hole—they didn’t get back to the wall. Saunders is asking Hanley what they’re going to do now. (The DM tells them to go into the kitchen and find some snacks while he plays out the next bit with Vince and Freddy).

Vince tells Freddy they can take out the tank. Freddy rolls successfully to disbelieve—and tries to get Vince to shrug-off the crazy—but Vince is new to the game and wants to get into the action—as in action hero time. He crawls along a ditch with a small stream of water in it. Freddy discards his initial good sense to instead embrace a fear of missing out on the massive XPs offered by the prospect of taking out an enemy tank.

Vince crawls from beneath a bridge and gets the exposed gunner on the tank in his sights. Bang! Vince expedites a missive of HP depletion—taking out the gunner. He follows by running to the tank and dropping a little pineapple of destruction inside—a tasty treat that fills the vehicle with fun-sized shrapnel, and fills the occupants with perforations as they fail their saving throws. Now the German soldiers rush from cover, just in time for Vince to test his captured MG skill rating.

Vince discovers a secret talent for mowing down Germans who rush toward him in the open. (It’s at this point I’m thinking that Vince isn’t going to make it to the closing credits, and Freddy is going to get the accolades for Vince’s foolish bravery).

Yep. I was right. A German with a Luger flanks Vince and drops him with a single shot. The Germans gather round as Luger-man is about to give Vince the coup de lead poisoning. The Americans attack before Luger-man delivers the second shot. The Germans abandon the tank and rush to who-knows-where. (So maybe Vince didn’t lose all his hit points). Cut to Freddy crawling from beneath the little bridge across the ditch. Vince moves! Freddy runs to him. Freddy mounts the tank in a rage, and opens up with the machine gun, spraying an apparently empty battlefield until he’s out of bullets or the gun jambs, and he collapses over the piece. (The rest of the gang has brought the snacks from the kitchen and they rejoin the game). The the squad runs up. There aren’t any live Germans in the field, only the many corpses created by Vince’s turn at the MG.

Cage pulls Freddy off the gun and down from the tank. Everyone believes Freddy killed all those Germans. They move to a farmhouse. Vince remains unconscious.

Hanley tells Saunders the unit needs a moral boost. He reads a notice he has been given about awards and decorations being awarded promptly and on an equitable basis. Saunders responds, “So?”

Hanley is putting Freddy in for a silver star. Saunders doesn’t believe it’s fair to pick one man out above the rest. Hanley thinks the tank and 17 dead Germans warrant recognition for Freddy—and has Freddy join him and Saunders. When Freddy gets the drift, he protests that he didn’t do anything to deserve a silver star, but is interrupted by news that Vince is conscious. Vince calls for Freddy, and the DM has Vince roll for recovery or death: a 3 and a 4. It’s not looking good for Vince. The DM allows him to roll for a last chance at survival using the heroic point he acquired in his earlier action: a 2 and a 3. Perhaps he can deliver some important last words: a 1 and a 2. No survival. No final words.

Vince, now dead and out of the game, complains that this game stinks. How can he just die like that? This game isn’t fun! He’s never going to play again. He storms out. He’s also the ride home for Freddy and one of the other guys. The DM calls it a night. They’ll pick up next week from that point.

When the game restarts, its chow time the next day. Freddy and the rest of the squad are there. The DM gives Saunders some letters. There’s one for Vince, which Saunder’s pockets, and another he gives to Freddy. Freddy goes off alone to read the letter. He wads it up, and takes a photo out of his pocket. Freddy tears the picture in half and throws it to the ground. Cage, on picket duty, observes Freddy. Cage picks up the two halves of the photo. He figures it was a Dear John letter and attempts to ease Freddy’s feelings—Freddy rolls a 7, and remains uncomforted.

Freddy goes to see Hanley and Saunders. He’s ready to tell them about what happened. He tells the story, taking credit for Vince’s heroics—no point in letting all those XPs go to waste. While Hanley’s out on a radio call, Saunders and Freddy have a brief discussion. When Hanley returns, they have to move out.

Cut to the squad moving through a shelled town, and blasting open a hole in a barbed wire obstacle in the street. A German in the wine shop begins firing as Hanley goes forward. Freddy goes to Hanley’s side—he can’t have his ticket writer to a silver star getting his ticket punched.

The German gets away. Hanley reminds Freddy not to be foolish, “What good is a medal if a guy’s not around to collect it?”—which might have been what Freddy had already considered with regard to Vince.

Cut to night in another destroyed French town--Malon. Hanley’s on the radio saying that the Germans have pulled out. When Freddy comes in, it is apparent that he has missed the fighting. He claims he came up the wrong trench and by the time he got to the right place, everyone had gone, so he went with some guys from another platoon. Caje, whose main task this session seems to be to intrude with news, says that a prisoner who speaks English has been taken. I’m thinking, odds are good that the prisoner is going to be Luger-man who shot Vince. It is.

The prisoner says, “It’s no disgrace to be taken by men of the 361^st,” because just two days earlier, he lost a tank and half his platoon (Here it comes. I knew it.) But it doesn’t. The Nazi doesn’t rat out Freddy. He says Freddy would receive the Iron Cross in the German army. Hanley says he’ll only get a little silver star in this army. Nevertheless, we know that both the German and Freddy know that the other knows the truth—if you know what I mean.

So Hanley has Saunders take the prisoner back to headquarters—with Freddy to help in case they run into trouble. (My money says they’ll run into trouble with Freddy either killing the German to keep his falsehood safe, or failing a morale check in a way that puts Saunders wise to the lie, or the third option being that Freddy will have to act in a way that would actually earn him the star).

While Saunders is scouting out a path through the town, Freddy and the prisoner are alone in an abandoned building. The German slyly notes that Freddy was taller 2 days ago. The German is pressing Freddy to let him escape to protect his heroic story. Meanwhile, Saunders rolls on the wandering monsters table and turns up 3 German soldiers approaching. The soldiers turn away before seeing him, and Saunders goes back to Freddy and the prisoner—in time to overhear (thanks to his high sneak rating) the plotting through the closed door. Saunders enters. Now he knows about Freddy, but there’s a German patrol out there to worry about. After he tells Freddy, “You turn my stomach,” the prisoner makes a break and gets out of the building. Freddy, even with the negative modifiers for a moving target in the dark, puts a couple slugs through the rear of the fugitive’s hit point basket, dropping him in the street. Saunders says, “That takes care of him. What about me?”

The shots have attracted the German patrol like looters to an electronics store. Combat ensues. Freddy finally gets a chance to fire a weapon at targets that shoot back. The Germans make little to no use of the available cover. Saunders jots down that fact of it with burst from his Thompson upon the uniform of one of the Germans—one down. One of the other wandering Nazis fires and brings down a boutique sign above Saunders. The sign knocks the Sgt. to the ground and into the barbed wire. (Here it comes. Freddy is going to have to get his hero on, or Saunders is going to get permanently demoted to corpse).

Freddy’s natural instincts click in as he fails the morale check. Fortunately, the DM reminds him that it takes three consecutive failures to flee the field in this game. While his first throw was a failure, causing him to retreat a short distance, his second roll found the mark. While Saunders screams like a cat in a blender, Freddy races back toward the action—and he’s all out of bubble gum (see They Live, 1988, if you don’t get that one). He rushes to Saunders and takes up the Thompson. He sprays just enough from the Thompson to give the nearest German that freshly dead scent. He begins cutting Saunders from the wire, but there’s another German out there.

The German has revenge best served with a potato masher grenade on his menu, and tosses the dish to the two Americans. Freddy rejects the offering and tries to send it back.

The grenade blows as he throws it. Freddy goes down with one arm injured. He seizes the Thompson while the German rolls an activation failure and fumbles with his Mauser. Freddy gets a reaction roll and beats him to the draw, sending a tip to the waiter in hot lead. The German falls. Freddy cuts the Sgt. loose and they run. Another German appears and conveys his feeling with a rifle shot. It misses.

Saunders and Freddy make it back to Hanley and the squad. Freddy must’ve been more seriously wounded than he appeared. He faints as Saunders thanks him for pulling him out of the wire. Doc says Freddy will be all right, but that arm won’t be much use. Before the medics carry him out, Freddy comes clean about Vince’s heroics at the tank, and wants the medal to go to Vince’s family. As the jeep with Freddy drives away, Saunders asks, “What makes heroes, Lieutenant?” Hanley replies, “You tell me, Sergeant. You tell me.”

Conclusion:

Once more I didn’t get to hear any French. We saw little of the squad other than Hanley and Saunders. Campanella didn’t last long. We did get some combat and plenty of machinegun fire. The Germans made poor use of their tactical advantages, letting the players off easy for the most part. It wasn't a great episode, but wasn’t a bad episode. I give it three-to three-and-a-half out of five bayonets. The stolen valor was returned and Freddy got to redeem himself and save Saunders—that's probably why I rated it as highly as I did, even though there was no French (except on the signs) and the combat wasn't great, and the interaction among the regulars was practically nonexistent. Saunders screaming in a barbed wire sari has to be worth a star all by itself.

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Hey, If you didn't know, the entire first trilogy is available. Three books that absolutely reek of awesome. It's America! with dragons and stuff. How's that for a tagline? Click the picture to view them on Amazon.

"Bridge at Chalons" is the first episode of season 2 of Combat! It wasn't the next episode on my list for viewing. I found it looking for an episode with the theme of blowing a bridge as I wanted to try some WWII action for my skirmish game. The game has already proved itself with musketeers, frontiersmen and Indians, Martians, Trek, and probably a western on which I'm still working--but I digress. I won't do a review or recap here of this Combat! episode. I merely wanted to note that it scores 2 out of 3 on the Combat! Excellence Scale: 1. It featured combat, including a German 2-man machine gun firing from a cemetery, and grenades and explosives. 2. It wasn't about the NPCs. The guest star, Lee Marvin, did not disappoint, but he did not become the show. He also helped bring out the prominent character features/flaws in the regulars. Saunders got to shine, overcoming all obstacles, including the guest star. Only on point number 3 did the episode fail to please--there was little-to-no French spoken in the episode. I give it 4 of 5 on the combat score, 5 of 5 on the character and guest star score, and 0 of 5 on the French score for a total of 9 out of 15. It's definitely one I could enjoy re-watching. I'll probably re-watch when I do a review so I can get some pictures.

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On a more serious note, the well pump handed in its resignation last Sunday. I managed to put off acceptance for a couple days until Tuesday when I had the time to replace it. Two things stand out about the whole experience. First, a fine friend not only helped with the pump replacement, he also did all the driving as we went to get the new hire and the requisite accessories. My dad, and son, and boss also came to assist in the project. Second, the new hire cost two to three times what it should have. HR was all accommodating in providing the replacement and everything else but deferred telling me the price when I asked, indicating we would settle up when I brought back the lifting tool they had lent to me for the task. I had priced new pumps and knew the expected range. I suspected that this pump would be at the high end of that spectrum. I did not expect it to be double the anticipated cost. Color me soured. There is no doubt whatsoever that I would have gone somewhere else if they had not hidden the cost until after I had installed the pump. I hope that was the last repair of the year. For Christmas, we have water. I may put a bow on the faucet.

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Thanksgiving came this year in that fashion to which we have grown accustomed. We had a small gathering of part of the family. The turkey I smoked didn't turnout as fabulous as had the one last year, but it was good. Thor, the Ice Queen, and the Corsican Brothers came for the thankful festivities. (Thankfestivities? Thanktivities?) I persuaded Thor to test my skirmish game. He chose a Federation versus Klingons scenario in which a mysterious tractor beam had destroyed a Klingon battle cruiser and threatened to do the same to the Enterprise. Thor ran the Klingons who, always ready to attach blame to the Federation, refused all efforts at cooperation. Chekov had the only working phaser. He had not moved from his beam-down spot before the enemy disruptor killed him. Kirk elected to forego the combat advantage he had and attempted to persuade the Klingon commander of the necessity of cooperation if they were to have any chance of saving themselves. That commander rebuffed his pleas and burned him down where he stood. McCoy met the same fate, and he was armed with nothing more than a nonworking tricorder. When the tractor beam crushed the Enterprise, Scotty was cornered by Klingons and a venomous wolf-like creature. He never even got a chance to disable the beam. Ironically, Scotty, the last crewman standing, was the only model wearing a red shirt.

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Snow and lights provided the theme for the rest of the weekend. Snow visited on Friday and drifted to a depth of nearly a foot--by which I mean the standard measurement, not someone's particular foot--in front of my garage. The new snowblower--and by "new" I mean I have no idea how old it is as it came from the estate of a friend who passed away earlier this year, but it's new to me--started right up and didn't die until I tried utilize it for its designated purpose. It wouldn't start again. I left it and shoveled for only a few minutes before I decided to put fresh gas in the blower and try again. It then started right up and did in fact blow snow--much of which the wind brought back into my face. It also left about a quarter inch of compacted snow in its wake. So I still had to shovel that.

Saturday morning drifted in like a breath exhaled in cold winter air, but it soon warmed up. When wife and daughter had finished their errands, wife asked me if I was going to put up the Christmas lights. The thought had not crossed my mind. Last year my son and I had joined in that activity. This year my wife helped. I'm not exaggerating much when I say that we did an entirely adequate job of stringing Christmas cheer about two and half sides of the abode, and adorning the crab apple and dead maple with polychromatic yuletide hopes. I think Polly Chromatic would make a good character name. Would she be an artist? A paint salesman? A singer who can't hold a note? As you can imagine, the possibilities are finite.

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Now for a note on the progress of Book 3 (I really need a good title for this one) of Tomahawks and Dragon Fire: It is exciting. I'm only 40 some pages in, and I can already tell that this book is even more exciting and action-packed than the two previous entries in the series. Friday and Saturday, while others were shopping, I digitally carved some characters in motion. The aftermath of the big ending in Power to Hurt is slopping over into the next set of plot complications and character advancements with musket fire, tomahawk chops, and some magic which may have been suspected by the more astute readers but which had not previously been revealed. I have revealed written it. Where it goes remains to be seen. Is there more magic to come? Get the books now and find out.

Earlier this week between writing and working and mowing and etc, I wedged an episode of Combat! into my schedule. I also caught about 22 minutes of The Wrath of Khan. I'm only including a write up on one of those here.

Season 1 Episode 12:”The Prisoner”

Written by Robert Kaufman. Directed by Robert Altman.

The setting around the camp reminds me of a Star Trek Halloween episode (“Catspaw” which also has something else in common with this Combat! episode as you will see below).

Braddock sneaks into camp. He says he lost his watch; that’s why he’s late. Littlejohn reminds Braddock that he sold the watch to him. (I can tell that Braddock is lying about the watch. He’s about to lie some more). Hanley wants Capt. Harper on the radio but Braddock says it doesn’t work; the batteries are dead. There’s a guy I haven’t seen before: Bialos. He’s the runner for Lt. Booker’s 1^st platoon. Why has he come to see Braddock? Because he traded good k-rations for dead batteries and he wants his rations back. When Hanley discovers that Braddock traded the dead batteries for k-rations he has a discussion with Braddock about whether he should go back into the line or continue as his runner.

Braddock at length decides he’s more valuable to the squad as a runner—the conclusion Hanley wanted him to reach. With the platoon unable to move, with no phone lines in yet, and no working batteries in the radio, Hanley needs someone to run back to Harper for orders or information. Braddock sees that he has fallen into Hanley’s trap.

After the intro we see someone belly-crawling through some low mist (see earlier “Catspaw” reference). It’s Saunders with a mouthful of mud and a report on the enemy positions. The Germans are dug in deep. Armor won’t do any good and it’s too soupy for air support. (Here comes what may be the central piece of the episode set up). Maybe the kraut colonel they recently captured can be of use. That colonel hasn’t revealed anything yet. Saunders wonders about pulling back. Hanley indicates the folly in that notion by stating that in their present position the German 88’s can’t reach them, but if they pull back they would be slaughtered. (This all sounds like a distorted and unlikely set of facts to keep the squad or platoon isolated and in need of extracting info from the prisoner). A shell lands nearby as Hanley finishes speaking. It’s the new danger: AA shells are being launched at them. (Which I doubted was possible,but was actually a tactic employed by the Germans).

Cut to Braddock making his way through the mist. He’s called upon by another American for the password. The soldier comes out looking for Braddock who surprises him. It’s Chekov! (Uncredited role for Walter Koenig) I half expected him to speak with a Russian accent. He has been in combat “ever since yesterday.” There’s a little bit about Chekov calling Braddock “sir” and Braddock saying he’s not a sir. (I’m thinking that my initial guess was wrong and this “sir” business is foreshadowing that Braddock is going to be taken prisoner and will be exchanged for the colonel).

Braddock gets in to see Capt. Harper. In Altman fashion the meeting takes place before two candles (in fairness, it may not have been an Altman convention in this case, but the kind of light likely available inside—but then later he does a nice shot with the two candles by the subject’s face—it’s signature Altman). After Braddock reports to Capt. Harper, there’s a call from a colonel who needs a driver who’s familiar with the company positions—Braddock knows the positions because he’s Hanley’s runner. It looks like he’ll be driving the colonel. (Looks like operation Braddock for colonel is starting to take shape).

There are more treats in store. The colonel’s sergeant is played by Richard Bakalyan who I associate with criminal types for his other roles. Colonel Clyde is played by Keenan Wynn and he comes out at his gruff, overheated best—like a freight train with a moustache and a cigar. Nobody does the bluster like Keenan Wynn.

When Braddock introduces himself, he is flustered by the colonel’s bluster and calls himself Sir Braddock. (More foreshadowing?). Braddock is regretting his decision. When the colonel is ready to go, Braddock is still coming from the shower. In the rush, he forgets his dog tags and wallet (Now I’m sure he’s going to be switching places with the colonel at some point). Clyde informs Braddock that he will drive; he says that he used to drive midgets before the war. When asked if he ever drove a midget, Braddock replies, in the best joke of the episode, “They wouldn’t drive with me, sir.”

Braddock starts sneezing. He attributes the sneezing to the draft and Clyde makes him take his coat. (The transformation from private to Colonel continues). Clyde drives like a maniac on speed. He swerves the jeep to miss a cow in the road. Braddock is thrown out. Clyde appears to go into the creek with the jeep. Braddock lies unconscious until a German patrol finds him in the middle of the road wearing a coat with colonel’s eagles on the shoulders—that’s Braddock wearing the coat, not the road; although a road does have shoulders and eagles could land there. He also has the colonel’s helmet. The Germans immediately become deferential. He offers them a cigar from the colonel’s coat pocket but the German instead lights it for him. He protests that he is only a private, but none of them speak English. He is taken to a German officer who speaks English, but doesn’t buy Braddock’s story.
Meanwhile, back at the company HQ, Colonel Clyde is overdue.

 An American patrol has seen that a colonel was taken prisoner by the Germans. They suspect that it’s Colonel Clyde.

Braddock gets the full officer treatment from the Germans and when he meets three other prisoners, they believe he’s a colonel too. When Braddock finds out that the other prisoners haven’t been fed, he goes into full Colonel Clyde bluster to get the Germans to feed them, and to let them ride on the car rather than walk behind.

At German HQ, Braddock learns that the Germans know all about Clyde. He doesn’t take kindly to the German efforts to confirm his identity now that he has embraced being Colonel Clyde.

The Germans see through the façade but want to trade him for their captured colonel anyway. They send one of the prisoners back to Hanley with the proposal. It’s Tom Skerrit.

The prisoner is sent on to HQ. He is convinced that the colonel he saw was Clyde based on Braddock’s impersonation and cigar smoking. The proposal is to trade Clyde and the other 2 GI’s for the German colonel and his aid. At this point Colonel Clyde enters HQ! He’s marked with dirt like Braddock was when he first appeared before Clyde. Clyde puts 2 and 2 together and realizes the Germans have Braddock. He arranges to pull a fast one on the Germans by putting a couple German privates in the uniforms of the German colonel and his aid for the exchange. The exchange goes as planned and the irate Germans attack, falling into Clyde’s trap.

Conclusion:

I was disappointed that there was no French spoken. We saw little of Hanley and we barely saw Saunders. This was pretty much the Shecky Greene show. He did a decent Keenan Wynn impersonation, but I would have preferred more Wynn and less Greene. There wasn’t any machinegun fire that I remember—I expect machinegun fire and some squad-to-squad combat from a show whose very title is a bayonet exclamation point following the word “Combat.” This is a show for and about manly men (and citizen soldiers) caught up in the toothy jaws of—need I say it—combat. Do I make myself clear? This was a decent but predictable lower tier episode without any surprises (except for Walter Koenig’s brief appearance--"Catspaw" was the first episode of Star Trek in which he appeared, although it was not the first with Koenig in it to air as "Catspaw" was held for airing near Halloween). I give it two-point-five-rounded-up-to-three of five bayonets.

***
As for progress on Power to Hurt, I've passed 49K words; many of the characters are in desperate situations and the action will continue to tramp forward to the climactic battle.

I want to do a series of posts on The Wrath of Khan (probably as I watch the movie in 20 or 30 minute increments) and I have a book review of Sanderson's Oathbringer to write. Maybe the latter will have to be a separate bonus post.

Before the irregularly scheduled episode of Combat!, a few words from a book I'm reading. Just because I may not agree with the statement, doesn't mean that I don't find it humorous.

L'âge, incapable d'embellir, efface du moins les différences excessives qui séparent la beauté de la laideur. À cinquante ans, ce qui reste d'une femme laide est bien près de ressembler à ce qui reste d'une jolie femme. – Le Loup Blanc. Paul Feval.

Combat!

Season 1 Episode 10: ”I Swear by Apollo”

The wind is blowing fiercely. The squad is headed into some trees. They come (like children through a wardrobe) past the shaggy limbs of a coniferous tree. They escort a Frenchman who is carrying a roll of papers. He’s obviously NPC number one. Saunders tells them that they’ll go in single file, staying in his footsteps, as the area may be mined. They spot some cloister nuns from a nearby convent working in a cemetery. Is it an omen? Saunders says their job is to get the Frenchman back. They move out. Meanwhile, a wagon comes to pick up the working nuns. The Frenchman drops his papers. The wind takes them. He and another soldier, Temple, begin gathering the papers which are being carried along the ground by the wind. A mine explodes about 6 feet from the Frenchman doing d6+2 damage to everyone within a ten foot radius. Everyone goes down. The nuns look over before turning back to their business. Roll the opening credits.

Gunnar Hellstrom is the guest star. The episode is written by Gene Levitt, and directed by Robert Altman.

The report is that the Frenchman is still alive, but the soldier is down and the medic shakes his head. I guess we don’t expect him to survive. 

There’s a nice title shot superimposed over the nuns and a cross in the cemetery. Doc tells Saunders that the Frenchman has shrapnel in his back. The soldier, on the other hand, needs a miracle. I think we’re going to the convent for a miracle and a splash of the religious imagery we see much of in Altman’s episodes. Sure enough, Saunders says they’ll follow the nuns to the convent.

There it is.

And it looks like they’ve caught the nuns getting ready for a game of marbles, or craps…or they could be praying or something.

Saunders and Caje in succession attempt to interrupt the nuns with pleas for aid. Both fail their diplomacy rolls. The nuns refuse to be interrupted in the middle of their craps game duties. Saunders wants to leave Temple with Doc at the convent and leave with the Frenchman. Doc says the Frenchman can’t be moved; he needs a surgeon. Saunders gets Hanley on the radio. Hanley says it’ll be an hour before he can get there with a surgeon.

The Mother Superior agrees to allow them to stay at the convent to wait for help.

Hanley gets a surgeon. We learn that the Frenchman was a surveyor for over 30 years. They leave to begin the rescue. Cut to this shot (which may be my new profile pic):

A nun (all of the nun faces remain in shadow from the dark cowls of their habits—like the Law Givers in Return of the Archons) picks up the skull and candle. She mentions neither Yorick nor her enemies and a drink. Kirby wonders if she’s taking a walk with an old friend. Caje says the nuns meditate over the skull. (Those nuns really know how to have a good time). Saunders has the Frenchman’s papers, but they’re of no use unless the Frenchman remains alive to decipher them.

Meanwhile, Hanley and the surgical crew are on their way. However, the surgeon (NPC number 2) seems winded and slow; he’s dragging his medical bag. Is it going to catch a mine? Apparently he makes his saving throw; he moves the bag to his shoulder, refusing to stop and rest.

Sister Mary Sebastien is presented to the squad. She was a nurse, and understands English. She will be allowed to help with the patients. They can’t see her face, and she won’t speak because of her vow of silence. Doc says there’s nothing for her to do until the surgeon arrives. She leaves. Kirby finds it all “spooky”—I agree.

Back with Hanley and the much awaited surgeon, they find Germans. After the German vehicles pass, Hanley calls to Littlejohn to send the doc across the road. He barely gets across before a German tank barrels past. Hanley tells the doc that’s why they need the surveyor; he can tell them every route capable of carrying tanks. Hanley sends the doc ahead, warning him about the open area that might be mined. The doc refuses to take Hanley’s carbine; he already has enough to carry. Hanley and the men stay to count the passing tanks.

Plot complication! When Hanley and friends have counted the tanks and go to catch up to the doc, they don’t have far to go. They find him sitting against a tree, dead from an apparent heart attack--he must not have been the guest star. What kind of DM sends an NPC whose only purpose is to expire without even soaking up some hps of damage? The players are going to be complaining about that move.

When Hanley arrives at the convent, Saunders wonders where the surgeon is. At first Hanley doesn’t answer. When Saunders persists, Hanley, in his best matter-of-fact tone, tells him the surgeon is waiting at the edge of a clearing waiting for a burial detail, dead. Hanley wants battalion on the radio. He wants some direction and needs to report about the tanks he counted. The Frenchman says he has important info and needs to speak with an intelligence officer.

Saunders suggests getting a French doctor. Unfortunately, the nearby town is lousy with Germans. Littlejohn reports that battalion says that they’re on their own. It will be a couple days before battalion can get a doctor to them. The Mother Superior tells them that there used to be a doctor in the town. Come nightfall, Saunders and Hanley will go try to find a doc in town.

The two heroes sneak into town. From amidst the German tanks they seize a local on a bicycle. With the sort of diplomacy that falls beyond the margins of the Geneva Convention, he has Caje tell the man to inform them where the doctor might be found, if he would be so kind, and that if the man screams, Saunders will break his neck. Weighing his limited options, the local answers the questions put to him. Tiring of Saunders’ embrace, he agrees to lead them to the destination.

Saunders and Caje follow the Frenchman. Once at the destination, Saunders, being all out of roses and carnations, has Caje give the Frenchmen their thanks by telling him that if he says anything, “We’ll hunt him down and kill him.” The Frenchman leaves without insisting on flowers or chocolates. They look through the hospital window and see a man in pale coat. They enter and take the doctor by surprise.

But he is the one who surprises them, removing his coat to reveal a German uniform.

Perhaps he’s the guest star. He must be. He exudes that haughty arrogance that I’ve come to expect of the guest stars playing German officers.

Saunders, nevertheless, still sees the answer to his problem in this guy, who is in fact a doctor—not Doctor Who, but a doctor nonetheless—sans the Time Lord certification. They take him. Back at the convent, the wounded Frenchman babbles again about important information for someone in intelligence. The German doc asks what he has said. Saunders is suspicious; he wants to test the German doc’s French comprehension. Caje asks him in French if it’s serious. The doc replies in French, and realizes that he has been discovered.

The German doc tries to stall, even doing a blood transfusion on Temple. He has excuses why he cannot operate on the Frenchman, but Hanley counters them all. He must operate. Getting enough light by which to operate gives Altman an opportunity to go all out on the candles and cross motif that he often uses.

Just to make sure that the German doc understands the gravity of the operation, Saunders pulls a page from his personal copy of The Fine Art of Diplomacy for Sergeants—based rather loosely on Dale Carnegie’s book; he tells the German, “If this man dies, I’ll kill you.”

The doc, who now has his mind right,

operates, assisted by the nun nurse. He enlists Saunders to take the blood pressure. We get several shots of candles and concerned faces. The Frenchman’s blood pressure drops to 0. It eventually goes back up. He’ll be okay.

Temple expires.

The German doc asks Saunders if he would have gone to such lengths to save the Frenchman if he had not had such valuable information. Saunders replies, “There’s a war going on. I don’t like it, but I do what I have to do.” He then counters with, “If I hadn’t put a gun up to your head, would you have operated, Doctor?” The doc doesn’t answer.

Temple checks into his reserved room at the cemetery; Saunders and company are off. What happened to the German doctor?

He lived to the age of 72.

What do I think of this episode? Writing this conclusion several days after having watched the episode, I can't remember any gun fire--no combat in Combat!--unacceptable. I found the guest star convincingly played. However, the script seemed a little weak to me. Most of the time is spent milling around with silent nuns while Temple expires in slow motion. I think it could be plausible argued that the counting of German tanks and the coercion of a French peasant tie for the most exciting bits of the episode. Saunders and Hanley had some meat to their parts, but not much. I would have liked to have seen a little more difficulty in getting the German doc to the convent. Even better, if somewhat incomprehensible, would have been to have the nuns as a special German unit in disguise; as it was, the nuns were really just that: none, nothing, zilch--they added nothing significant to the story. This will definitely not make my top ten list.

Combat! S1 E9 - "Cat and Mouse" - recap and review

Combat!

Season 1 Episode 9:

They’re headed uphill, into a cemetery; then the shelling starts…

Hanley gives the order, “Dig in!” Cage isn’t thrilled about the idea of digging into the asphodel fields. Littlejohn says, “This is one hole I thought somebody else would dig for me.” A guy we haven’t seen before makes his way to Hanley; he says that the captain wants him to send a man back out…as soon as that man gets back from the last mission. A few moments later, out of the smoky blasts walks a figure; he’s carrying another soldier. It's Saunders!

He’s exhausted—we’ve seen this setup before. He has come back from the land of snipers and landmines. He lost 5 NPCs. Hanley tells him he has to report back to S-2. Saunders says he has nothing to report. He didn’t see anything. That’s too bad. He has to go back; they want him to go back out again…orders. Saunders says, as he leans his head against a slanted headstone, “Funny. I feel like I belong here.” Roll the opening credits.

The episode guest stars Albert Salmi. It’s entitled “Cat and Mouse.” It is written and directed by Robert Altman.

Back at S-2, Saunders is one of a few men who get a briefing. Something big is about to break. There’s going to be a breakthrough attempt…somewhere else. Success depends on holding this part of the line with only a few troops…and the Germans have an attack planned. They need to know where the attack will be in order to successfully defend with limited resources. Recon patrols have been gaining nothing but casualties. Therefore, there will be more patrols. Everyone is excused to go to their patrols...except for Saunders and a Sgt. Jenkins (the guest star Albert Salmi). Saunders is to accompany Jenkins’ patrol because that patrol is assigned the area from which he has just returned. Jenkins is beside himself with joy…or something sort of opposite of joy. He’s experienced; he doesn’t need someone else along…that he might have to “nursemaid.” Saunders is his usual jolly self—glum, grim, silent; he doesn't waste time on any persuasive charisma die rolls.

The patrol is off, complete with leafed sprigs sticking from their helmets. A certain tree doesn’t find the disguises amusing, and shoots one of the soldiers. (Not the tree. Turns out it was a sniper hiding in a tree).

Jenkins doesn’t listen to Saunders and goes to help the downed man. He draws fire (in a stark charcoal on cream colored paper, that being his artistic specialty), but isn't hit. Saunders follows, spraying bursts from the Thompson. Jenkins has a plan. Saunders doesn’t like it. Jenkins rolls a natural 20; the plan works! Jenkins gets the sniper…but their man is dead too. One NPC and one enemy, the score is tied.

Saunders finds a mine while Jenkins is trying to rush the men along. As Saunders pulls out the mine, another one goes off; they lose another man. Jenkins agrees to go a little slower. Two NPCs down. (They should've worn red shirts for this episode). 

The DM has them find a building. Jenkins decides to take in one man, the other two will cover. Saunders says that he will go in with Jenkins. Wilson and McKay will cover. It’s a mill, with a waterwheel. The sgts get in fine…but one of the cover guys thinks that he has heard something and starts to go check on it; he rolls a critical failure. A German appears behind him, banging out a fatal riff of heavy metal. He plays more of the same for the other American, who finds it totally killer, as well. It’s a whole kraut platoon arriving at the mill. 4 NPC's have been expended. (It's like "The Apple" TOS S2E5).

The sgts are trapped inside the mill…and I can guess where the Germans are headed. Yep…they’re coming inside. The sgts have to hide. The Germans are moving in, and setting up a regimental command post. The German colonel takes a liking to the resident cat. (And isn't that Ted Knight holding the helmet or something on the right? It is. It is).

But will the cat give away the Americans? 

Saunders doesn’t have any luck with the radio, there are just too many negative modifiers to the dice. They’re out of range. Jenkins has gone full-thief, and found a passage. They can sneak out when it gets dark. In the meantime, they wait. Saunders makes a few long-shot die-roll attempts for success with  the radio. Jenkins is so enamored with the idea that he points his rifle at Saunders, and orders him to stop. Saunders is through taking orders from him. That sends Jenkins into a soliloquy about how he’s fighting this war surrounded by shoe clerks. Jenkins was regular army before the war. Saunders, he sold shoes, or so he tells Jenkins. Jenkins goes into slow burn mode, refusing to think of possible positive modifiers to the radio checks.

With darkness, they try to make their escape. As Saunders is making the attempt, Jenkins deliberately drops the radio to alarm the Germans. Is he trying to get Saunders captured? No. Jenkins shows himself, surrendering.

Saunders watches in secret as the Germans interrogate Jenkins, even though Jenkins has signaled him to go. Jenkins has a picture on him from when he was a lieutenant, before he was cashiered, and rejoined as a private. The Germans want to know where the American lines are. He can’t tell them. They threaten to shoot him. When they start to drag him out, he agrees to tell all that he can. He knows Saunders is still there. He signals him to go up above so that he can see the map as he explains to the Germans where the American lines are located.

Saunders is able to read the map with the aid of one side of his binoculars. The problem develops when Ted Knight (as a German captain) goes after the cat and discovers the American boots that Saunders had left in the passageway out. Jenkins goes wild--he's rolling dice on the distraction tables like a madman. The Germans go wild--and they have the guns. Lead flies; Jenkins takes more lead than his hit points can handle. Saunders grabs his heater and burns down some Germans. He goes down the ladder. He confirms that Jenkins in dead before he goes out, rolls a successful sneak attack, and overpowers a guard, and swims downstream.

We next see him in a Jeep, rolling into S-2. Saunders is not a little dismayed when S-2 doesn’t show interest in his report. They tell him that they broke the German code that morning, and know where the attack is coming. Saunders tells them Jenkins gave his life so that he could escape to get this information back to them, and someone is going to listen to it. Yet, nobody does hear it. The major informs Saunders that hundreds of men at desks have been working on the code (rolling percentage dice through the night until they could get three "00"s in a row) and 6 French underground agents died getting the information; the important thing is that they have the information, not who got it first.

What to think about his episode? It certainly burned through the NPCs--5 lost on Saunders' first mission before the session, and 4 more lost during this adventure. The guest player character also cashed-in his chips before the closing credits. I was disappointed about a few things: I didn't find any really outstanding camera shots; nobody spoke French; Ted Knight never got to speak English; and I didn't think of anything funny enough to make me laugh while I wrote this. Speaking of Ted Knight... by way of trivia, Knight and Salmi would later appear together in Caddyshack. Salmi appeared in numerous movies and series before his apparent murder/suicide. He never appeared in Star Trek, as far as I could find, but he was in The Brothers Karamazov with Shatner, and Yul Brenner. It seems to me that he usually played the dim-bulb-loud-mouth type.

The episode wasn't very satisfying for me. The tension that I expected from the cat and mouse game just wasn't there. I expect that the ending was intended to be unsatisfying--it succeeded.  

And I haven't time to write anything more..."Patterns of Force" just came on.