As we drew near Paris, the traffic increased, as did the number of lanes on our roadway. We knew some fancy driving lay ahead of us. Which reminds me of Kirk Douglas' line in Man from Snowy River, "...go at them from the jump. No fancy riding..." The closer we got to the airport, where I had arranged to return the rental car by 6:00 p.m., the fancier the driving got. Naturally, I was every bit as awesome as Jim Craig in the plunge down the mountain in my vehicular exploits...but there were a few complications.
The first order of business was to get to the hotel near the airport to check-in and drop off our stuff before returning the car. It sounded simple...and it was...in the same way that playing rock, paper, scissors against
We had to make the correct turn to the general area of the airport and the hotel. Into a tiny roundabout we went. There were three choices; a choice had to be made immediately...I got it wrong the first time (this actually helped me later)...but I got it right on the retry. Unfortunately, it would take more attempts to get to the hotel.
The first time, I drove past the turn that would take me to the hotel. So I had to drive around the block (which was about 2 miles around, or more) and try again. The second time, I got the correct turn...only to miss the entrance to the hotel itself. The hotel, the Ibis Styles at Roissy, not to be confused with the Ibis at Roissy, has a single inconspicuous (covert would be a better description) opening into an entry way that is itself perhaps the size of a 20 centime piece. Perhaps my recollection is dim; it may have been slightly larger--the size of a one euro coin. The road was a single, one-way lane; there were cars behind me. I couldn't back up. I had to continue forward.
The little one-way lane took me around and dumped me back out to the main track...where I went around the two miles, and through the three or four traffic signals again. Take three: Left turn to the correct road--check. Right turn into the covert entrance--check. Then what? There was no where to go from there except to the exit. There wasn't even a door for a pedestrian entrance. Fortunately, my wife noticed the covert covert entrance. What I should have done, after making the right turn into the hotel entrance, was drive directly into the side of the building. Actually, no. It just looked like one had to drive into the side of the building. There was an automobile entrance. The tiles covering the wall, made it blend it with the tiled wall behind it. The automobile entrance was behind that concealment wall...and I couldn't back up to get to it; wrong angle or another car in the way; I forget...so around one more time. I was running out of time to get the rental car returned.
Take four: Left turn to the lane--check. Right turn to the entrance--check. Quick jog right to catch the covert covert entrance--check. At last we had discovered the holy of holies, the super secret secret chamber: the parking garage.
We didn't need a password, but we did have to take a ticket and wait for the light to change, allowing us to proceed in to find a parking place. The fun had only just begun..
Started with a reference to Ratt. Why not end with a reference to the Carpenters (sort of)? Better yet, one more.
Next time: Gas