Marengo

 

 A little Pub Battles Marengo from CommandPost Games this week.

The Marengo Map spreads out large and beautiful. The year is 1800. France is at war with Austria. Bonaparte deftly handled the Austrians in Italy a few years before. Now he has risen to the position of First Consul of the French. With part of his army across the Bormida River from Alessandria, where General Melas has massed an Austrian army nearly double the size of Bonaparte's force, Napoleon has blocked Melas' supply lines. Melas must attack or maneuver away. A double agent man, for whom I know neither the name nor number, provided false information that Melas would maneuver. Based on that information, Bonaparte sent part of his forces away to monitor other possible avenues for Melas.

Instead of Maneuvering away, Melas attacks the divided French force.

 I've never been disappointed with any game I've played that is a re-fight of Marengo. I've played with Napoleon's Battles and a few other miniature rules, including my own homebrew sets. However, Pub Battles Marengo has the advantage of being playable in an hour or so. The game sets up quick and it plays quick. As you can see in the picture below--the final positions of the game I played last week--the game uses wooden blocks. They're much easier and quicker to use than the chits or counters or miniatures used in other games I've played.

What makes this battle such a ripping good time to play? The Austrians cross the river in overwhelming force against the French advance forces under Vandamme and Lannes. These generals have have to delay the Austrians so that Napoleon, who's back at the other end of the long battlefield, can bring the reserve to the fight. The reserve is also a small force but includes the idominatable Consular Guard. Additionally, Murat and some French cavalry, including Kellerman's formidable cuirassiers, are on hand to lend assistance. Even with the reserve and the cavalry, the French are outnumbered. 

Napoleon may have an ace, or at least a face card up his sleeve. He has sent for Desaix's division to return at the double time with no dawdling along the way. Can Lannes and Vandamme delay the Austrians without being crushed and dooming the French army to defeat? Can Napoleon prevent Melas from reopening his supply line? Will Desaix arrive in time to save the French from the Austrian war machine?

Below is scene from midway through this week's game. I randomly altered the Austrian order of battle for greater uncertainty for the French. The lone white block just to the right of the upper center is an Austrian baggage train. That blue line extending toward it is an attempt by the French to get to that baggage train. If successful, the French will win the game. If unsuccessful, they may at least force Melas to divert troops from the French baggage train that he is threatening. Because of the nature of the game, neither can be certain that the units they're threatening are in fact baggage trains. It's a gamble.

What's so special about baggage trains? First, if you lose one, you lose the battle. If you have a line of supply, you can unpack the train and use it to rally troops, so they can live on and fight another round. However, once they're unpacked, the trains can't move. If you have to pack one of them up after you've unpacked it, you lose. I find this adds even great urgency and uncertainty to the battle.

Below is a picture from later in the battle. As you can see, the French didn't get to Melas' baggage train, but they did force him to defend it, relieving the threat to one of their own baggage trains. Bonaparte is blocking the left hook by the Austrians shown on the lower right of the map, and Desaix has arrived and advanced at the far left edge.

However, Bonaparte's baggage train is under threat. The French unpacked the trains earlier, so they can't move. They're committed to the battle and can't retreat without devastating losses.

The picture below shows the end of the battle.

Thanks to the daring charges by the French cavalry and the valiant efforts of the infantry, the Austrian losses exceeded their will to fight. They broke with 50% casualties to their infantry. Although Bonaparte's and an Austrian baggage train were seriously threatened, the Austrian army broke before either could be taken.

 

 

Wrestling Ouroboros

 

The winners of my flash fiction contest will be announced tomorrow in my newsletter (click the newsletter link at the top of the page to get signed up for it). 

The war began this week. I rolled out the war machine and replaced the deck belt. The illustrations and directions I saw for completing the task required detaching the deck. Naturally, I did not do that. Although I'm sure it would've made the replacement operation easier, it would've taken more than twice as long to remove and replace the deck. The method I chose, after removing the ouroboros-esque item from the simple packaging in which in had arrived by post from the big river site, was accomplished on my knees by feel with limited visual assistance.

I placed the new belt as I removed the old one. The theory being that I would be sure to match the course of the old one by proceeding in that manner. My hypothesis proved correct--mostly. I did run into a little trouble manipulating the two belts in removing the old one from the pulleys and adding the new one. They got tangled. Theoretically, I could've done it without that complication. However, in actual practice, murphy's law manifested itself, or maybe the two belts became animated by jinn or manipulated by unseen gremlins. I think I had to put on and remove the new belt from one of the pulleys at least three times. You would think I was working with forty foot phone cords and a team of drunk ferrets - but it was only me, myself, and I. At any rate, victory was mine without any smearing of corpuscles or shredding of dermal layers--win-win. I bent both belts to my will.

The old belt had been slipping in tall grass (which aptly describes the yard for the first battle of the year) and I discovered that it had not only stretched but was severely cracked. I probably would've broken soon. It's only been in heavy use for 12 years.

The new belt worked fine and the war machine attacked grass and weeds in a frenzy of indiscriminate slaughter. I mowed half of the yard that evening, and then Saturday, instead of only mowing the second half, I had to mow the entire thing. The jungle had rejuvenated after only a few days. The seasonal war is live once again.

On the writing front, a few more chapters of the bug novel have been drafted and posted for my skirmish team's review, and I still have two short stories out without final decisions on publication status. Which reminds me that I also have a story from a year ago at a publisher who seemed to want to publish, but has experienced unspecified delays without providing a new publication date.

I've reviewed and adjusted my presentation on Forging Unforgettable Stories. I've included my opening sentences of the presentation in my newsletter for subscriber comment. I could share some of it here but:

Ladyhawke

 

I know I just did a movie review last week, but the eclipse approaches for some (not me), and Ladyhawke is available to stream for free on tubi. It's as if the planets have aligned. So, it's a sword and sorcery movie from the 80s for the win. Directed by Richard Donner. Written by Edward Khmara, Michael Thomas, and Tom Mankiewicz

We begin with the true star of the show. The character is Phillipe Gaston, played by Ferris Bueller--apparently he took another day off to go to Italy to film this gem that is supposed to be set in the south of France. Why start with him? First, because he is the star of the show, getting more screen time and lines than any other character (by my gut reckoning), and because he's the character that makes the show worth watching.

His witty banter and conversations with God are the best reasons for watching the show. Second, when the movie first came out, my neighbors saw it and told my parents they enjoyed it and that Phillipe reminded them of me. I'm not sure if they thought I was a pick pocket, an escape artist, an amoral wit, a lock pick, or an entertaining conversationalist (which is what I'm going with). Phillipe is all of these. 

Our hero escapes from the dungeons of Aquila--a fortress city presided over by its bishop (played by John Wood).

After his departure via the sewer, the hero is nearly recaptured as he boasts of his evasion and offers to buy drinks for all patrons of the establishment. His cheer takes a turn when the patrons reveal themselves as the bishop's guards tasked with capturing and/or exterminating the thief. He is saved from death by Etienne Navarre, the former captain of the guard. 

 Phillipe begins to have his suspicions about his new companion when he disappears for the night, the host of the hovel where they stay tries to kill him but is instead slain by a black wolf, and a beautiful woman mysteriously turns up in the barn. 

Navarre (played by Rutger Hauer), has plans to kill the Bishop of Aquila and believes Phillipe can help him get inside the fortress. 

Phillipe eventually learns that Navarre's hawk becomes the woman who appears at night, and that Navarre becomes the wolf from sundown to sunrise. The hawk is wounded by a crossbow bolt during a fight with the guards. Navarre is also wounded in the same place. He sends Phillipe off to find the monk Imperius (played by Rumpole of the Bailey) at a ruined castle to tend to the bird.

 

Imperius reveals that Navarre and the woman, named Isabeau (played by Michelle Pfeiffer), were lovers. A priest, Imperius, revealed that secret to the bishop who was madly obsessed with the woman. When she spurned his advances, he sought dark magic to put a curse on the lovers, which resulted in their current predicament. The condition has been going on for about two years. Imperius believes he has found a way to end the curse--but the bishop must be alive for the event, which must occur with the eclipse

At the ruins, Imperius works on ladyhawke in her lady form, removing the bolt. The bishop's guards arrive, making their rounds as carolers or perhaps looking for handy packages on porches. During the search they discover Phillipe and Isabeau--along with the fact that one should walk on the left. She has a narrow escape from a high tower, saved only when she falls and transforms as the sunrises in the instant before she crashes on the rocks below. Phillipe is saved by the timely arrival of Navarre and his double-barrel crossbow. (I know crossbows don't have barrels - maybe it's an over and under).

Navarre is having none of Imperius' crazy scheme to crush the curse with a total eclipse of the heart sun and leaves without the monk. Phillipe goes with him, telling the monk to follow. As Phillipe gets to know Isabeau, the bishop hires a trapper to kill the black wolf. Isabeau nearly steps in a trap, and the trapper tosses stones on numerous traps around Isabeau. The black wolf arrives, but the trapper's trap traps the trapper, being the last trapping the trapper will ever trap.

Phillipe hasn't succeeded in getting Navarre to buy into the monk's method of madness, so the pair resolve to capture Navarre in his wolf form. The plan goes awry when the wolf breaks through ice on the lake and Phillipe gets clawed badly during the rescue. 

Into Aquila they go at night, with Navarre as a caged wolf, and Imperius convincing the guards that this is not the droid wolf they're looking for. Phillipe takes the sewers to the cathedral. Navarre heads for the cathedral to slay the bishop while Phillipe comes up from the sewer to unlock the cathedral doors from within. As you might expect, and in accordance with the tested and true method of drawing out the drama to create tension, things do not go smoothly. An extra dollop of drama is served by the fact that Imperius has been instructed to kill ladyhawke if the church bells begin to ring, because that means Navarre has failed.

Phillipe does get the doors unlocked in time for Navarre to ride Goliath into the cathedral. An old enemy in the guard, the new captain, also rides in to fight him. The horseback clash doesn't last long, and soon both men are unhorsed. Although he slays the new captain--with help from Phillipe, there are other guards to protect the bishop and to ring the bells--and ring they do. Imperius has the bird in hand--not having elected to pursue two in the bush--with the knife poised to strike.

Navarre, realizing the eclipse is the real thing (what with the celestial event being perfectly lined up with the cathedral window broken only minutes earlier by a flying helmet) and not merely some imitation soft drink, yells for Imperius not to kill the bird. Of course, Imperius can't hear him, being some unspecified distance away.

The fight continues. Navarre takes out the guards and sets upon the bishop, who reveals a handy-dandy spear point at the end of his holy staff. Isabeau appears and the couple, both in human form, confront the bishop. Imperius proclaims the curse broken. Naturally, the bishop isn't keen on the new arrangement and opts to roll for an attempt to skewer Isabeau. His dice result in a tragic failure. Navarre launches his sword with all three dice coming up gold. The sword punches the bishop back a few yards, carrying him off his feet, into a chair or some other upright piece of wooden furniture, and pierces both bishop and furniture to the hilt. It's not just a bad day at black rock, it's a totally terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for the bishop, who has seen his last eclipse in mortality.

That's pretty much the end, except for the hugging and lifting and spinning, which went on a little too long in my opinion, and Imperius and Phillipe leaving after thanks and a kiss on the cheek from Isabeau.

Like I said, the best reason to watch the show is for Phillipe's dialog-- none of which I've spoiled for you by including it here, which I think certainly reflects well on me.

Ladyhawke represents the best of 80s sword and sorcery. It's not too silly to enjoy, but it is humorous. The acting is very good and the script is entertaining. Ladyhawke is good clean fun--it's like the crews behind Conan the Barbarian and The Andy Griffith Show joined up and made a fantasy flick the whole family could enjoy.

___________________

The bugmageddon novel has passed the halfway mark. My space cowboy story must not have made the cut because I haven't heard back and I believe contracts went out for that anthology a couple days ago.

I have completed assembling my powerpoint presentation on forging unforgettable stories. It's pretty terrific--at least in my head.

Head (1968)

 The movie review is further down. First, in the good news/bad news of the week, one of my short stories--a special favorite of one of my Skirmish Team beta readers--was rejected by an editor. That's the bad news. A different story, was accepted to an anthology, and I've returned the signed contract. That's good news. Another story has been tentatively accepted, depending on whether the editor is able to group it coherently with the others under consideration for that anthology. That's also good news, and I really enjoyed writing that particular story as I did a mash-up of the requested theme with something else that was on my mind. I think that leaves one other story still under consideration, but I think it's actually a stronger tale than the story that was already accepted--of course, there are always lots of variables and what other stories have been submitted to a particular publication will affect the decisions.

In other news, I did battle with car dealers this week--but that's in the newsletter--and the new ground speeder seems to please the one most intimately connected with the vehicle.

I know I saw a black and white movie recently that I wanted to discuss, but I can't seem to remember what it was. Therefore, I'll talk about the movie I do remember--sort of.

I remember watching a documentary about the Monkees several months ago and noted that they had made a movie. Having never seen the movie and stumbling across it during one of the hunting expeditions I often make over free streaming services, I bagged the beast on Tubi after a short stalk with a shot in the only part of the anatomy in the title. 

WARNING: The spoiler is that there isn't a spoiler for this movie.

Head stars Peter Tork, Davy Jones, Mickey Dolenz, and Michael Nesmith. I'll mention some other notables as the ramble progresses. The credited writers are Bob Rafelson, who also directed the movie, and Jack Nicholson, who has a cameo in the film.

If viewed as conventional movie with a linear and sequential plot, the movie makes less sense than an episode of the Monkees TV series. That's what I meant by the warning that there isn't a spoiler. There's no plot to give away. The movie opens with a mayor attempting to announce the opening of a bridge. Our 4 stars race through before the mayor can cut the red ribbon. They're chased by a strange bunch. Mickey leaps from the bridge into the river and is rescued by mermaids filmed in psychedelic negative. He wakes up someplace else being kissed by a girl who goes on to kiss each of the 4 musicians before she leaves.

 The rest of the movie is a barrel of short skits--which are mostly incomplete as they bleed into the next sequence--old movie clips, and a continuity thread so tenuous that it often breaks completely. There is one concert scene near the beginning.

I was disappointed that we only got a single song from the concert. None of the other songs were bad, but I can't recall any of them.

There's also a point where the voices of the stars address the audience letting everyone know that this is their movie, not the prepackaged creation of a studio--sort of a warning that they'll be breaking the molds into which they've been pressed, and telling their own story.

On that note, they are frequently placed in a big black box and have to find ways to escape.

When they escape, they often find themselves running from Victor Mature--named Big Victor, which may be a reference to RCA Victor, the original distributor of the Monkees' records, and which was owned by NBC which aired the series.

Another pursuer is Logan Ramsey - best known to me as Proconsul on the "Bread and Circuses" episode of Star Trek.

Another Star Trek connection is a young Teri Garr who appears in a western vignette early in the movie. I believe this was around the same time she played Roberta Lincoln in "Assignment Earth."

Also appearing are Dennis Hopper, Frank Zappa, Annette Funicello, Vito Scotti, and Sonny Liston. A memorable scene includes the latter boxing Davy Jones. Dolenz finally climbs into the ring and knocks out almost everyone before the cops take him. The poignant part of that sketch is Tork appearing to assert that he's the dummy, he's always the dummy.

Jones goes into a dance number that switches from a white suit with black trim and surroundings to a black suit with white trim and surroundings.

Apparently he's a song and dance man whether he's in the black box or not.
 

In one sequence, Dolenz is in the desert and encounters a Coke machine that is empty or not working.

Mickey rages against the machine and eventually uses Vito Scotti's Italian tank to blow the machine to smitheroons (smitheroons being somewhat larger than smithereens in my private lexicon). In spite of the location, no Fremen, giant worms, droids, Jawas, or sand people made an appearance.

I don't even remember what sequence the above picture is from. Same with the one below.

Which is a pretty good summary of the movie. You probably won't remember what happens, because nothing really does happen. In fact, the movie concludes where it began, with the stars interrupting the bridge ceremony while being pursued. All the Monkees leap from the bridge. 

The movie isn't about what happens. It's a surrealist presentation that succeeds brilliantly in conveying the angst and frustration of the individual stars in dealing with the system that created, packaged, and confined them inside the black box--whether that be a TV set or the rigid boundaries that stifled the group's creativity in favor of what the machine could sell. Unfortunately for the Monkees, they broke out of the box, but nobody cared.

British Invasion of Quebec pt. 1

 Fun Fact:

General Wolfe is in the middle

After the campaigning of 1758, Brigadier James Wolfe believed he had a Ticket to Ride and returned to England of his own volition, much to the surprise of William Pitt who had sent orders for Wolfe to stay in America only like Yesterday. Pitt didn't dwell on Wolfe's improper return because he had decided on an expedition up the St. Lawrence and wanted the redheaded general to lead it. In the meantime, Wolfe became reacquainted with Katherine Lowther, with whom he opened up a can of Love Me Do. When he sailed from Portsmouth February 14, 1759 aboard the Neptune, he carried the new rank of major general, a small portrait of the lady, and, in response to his plea to Please Please Me, her promise of marriage on his return.

Wolfe commanded 9,000 men with brigadiers John, Paul, George, and Ringo, Robert Monckton, James Murray, and George Townshend. Wolfe was the youngest by 6 months. Before the expedition to Quebec was over, all three brigadiers would come to consider him to be a real Nowhere Man.

Quebec was founded as a permanent settlement in 1608. It stood on the east end of a promontory in the river. Behind the city, the island widened and fell away on the Plain of Abraham. Although it occupied a stern and defensible position, all was not well in the city. A bad harvest and cold winter had left the populace starving and looking for Help!

Vice Admiral Charles Saunders had the task of getting Wolfe and his soldiers and supplies up the St. Lawrence to Quebec. Unfortunately for Wolfe, two French frigates and 14 supply ships managed to get up the St. Lawrence before him to provide relief to the starving city. Montcalm would be able to mount a strong defense Eight Days a Week.

Although the British proceeded up the river without major incidents and successfully installed artillery on the Ile d'Orlean where they could shell the city, and Wolfe sent regular bombardment From Me to You, the French were not frightened--Michelle was still belle, apparently. Montcalm spread his 14,000 men about the Beauport shore to defend the landing areas. 

Wolfe ordered a full assault on July 31. An amphibious attack would land on the shores and other forces would attack across the river against Montcalm's flank. The assault had to be timed so that the forces at the river could cross at low tide. Unfortunately, that caused difficulties for the amphibious landing craft. British Grenadiers left their boats far from shore to race into a storm of French fire. By the time the attackers were able to break free, British losses had mounted to 443 men during the Hard Day's Night.

With the city and shore stoutly defended, Wolfe sent Murray up river to raid and probe the area northwest of Quebec. Murray learned from British prisoners liberated during the foray that General Amherst had been successful in taking Ticonderoga and Crown Point, and that Fort Niagra belonged to the British as well. 

Hearing news of Amherst's successes, Wolfe was unable to say I Feel Fine, and fell ill. He held a council of war with his brigadiers with regard to three options he presented, and which were all variations on the same attack that had already failed. His brigadiers said You've Got to Hide Your Love Away, and rejected all of them. However, they said We Can Work it Out, and favored moving the camp to cut communications and supplies to Quebec from Montreal.

--I've consulted my highlights from The French and Indian Wars: Deciding the Fate of North America by Walter R. Borneman, Chapter 13 for this fun fact episode.

 _______________________

In the future we'll see if any other album can help complete the British invasion of Quebec.

I've completed only one chapter on the bugmageddon novel this week, as the real job and play practice absorbed almost all available time. I did get a rejection on a short story, but I also got definite maybe on another one depending on whether the anthology can fit it thematically in with the others that are chosen. I've still got two others to hear back on as well, and I've got high expectations for them.

Alexander R Davis

 Interview with Alexander R Davis

Author of

Omeron: The Hero’s Chronicle, and more

Please tell me a little about your current work in progress.

                I’m working on a series. It’s about what is means to be a hero, not just having a bigger stick than the next guy or some hidden talent, but who someone must be as a person to become a hero. The only problem is that an objectively terrible human being is chosen for the task. It’s a fantasy adventure that will have some romance as the series goes on.

 

Where did you get the idea for this book or series?

                It started to form when the big superhero kick started with marvel. I love heroes and it made me wonder if there is more to heroes than their powers. So, I decided to write a fantasy novel about that very thing.

 

Do you write in more than one genre?

                I definitely do. Self help, inspirational, and fantasy. Fantasy will always hold a special place in my heart though, since it is what finally got me to start reading.

 

Tell me about something that you believe makes your writing unique or worthy of

attention.

                I like to mix genres that aren’t often mixed. Like in my most recent series. It is dubbed as a fantasy, but because of some of the things that happen in the story, there is self help weaved into the book as well.

 

Is there anything about your personal history or personality that manifests strongly in

your writing?

Personality wise I would say yes. Even when I write fantasy books, I can’t help but sprinkle in and sometimes douse with a fire hose, some self-help. Being entertained is great! But I really care about growing as a person, so if the two can be combined that’s what I like to do.

 

What else would be helpful for readers to know about you?

                I love encouraging people. If I get the chance to lift someone up, that just makes my day and I wish others would do the same. If everyone did that, just imagine what the world would be like.

 

Excluding your own work, what underrated author or book would you recommend that

more people read? Why?

                This is a super lame answer, but I honestly only really read books that are recommended to me. So, I don’t get my eyes on many underrated books.

 

Which of your books do you most highly recommend? Why?

                That is a hard question haha. I want to recommend my recent book “Omeron: The Hero’s Chronicle”, because I am always excited about my most recent book, but I may have to recommend another. I have one on amazon that is quite often trending at #1 in its genre, so I would probably have to recommend that one. “A Counselor, an Old Man and a Park Bench.”

 

Which break, event, decision, or fortuitous circumstance has helped you or your writing

career the most?

                I would say it was when a relative of mine offered to be my literary agent for my first book. At that point I wasn’t even thinking too much about publishing it.

The funny thing about it all is that he didn’t really do anything. Pretty soon he just stopped working with me, because he had never done that job before, and it entailed more than I believe he was expecting. But regardless, just the offer itself made things seem more real to me and gave me a lot of motivation to actually move forward with my writing.

 

What question do you wish you would get asked more often?

What do you really care about?/What are your dreams?

 

Do you have a catch-phrase or quote that you like? What is it? And why do you choose

it?

                Have fun. It’s something I almost always say to people in place of goodbyes. It’s not because I think life is all sunshine and daisies, because it’s not. I do believe that life was meant to be enjoyed though. life is supposed to be fun. We were meant to have joy in the journey, even if we do get some flat tires along the way.

 

____________________

 

Chapter 10 of the bug dystopia is complete. My newsletter subscribers got a little taste of it last week. Expected and unexpected diversions have eaten much of my writing time, so I'm not progressing as fast as I should on this book. I had planned to finish it by the end of the month, but I can see that's not going to happen. On the bright side, the weather was good enough that I was able to spray a bunch of noxious weeks that are attempting to take over the grounds of the estate. 

Marlowe

 I see that Prime has a new Marlowe movie out. I chose to watch the 1969 movie of the same title directed by Paul Bogart, written by Raymond Chandler and Stirling Silliphant, starring James Garner, Gayle Hunnicutt, Carroll O'Connor, and Rita Moreno. Jackie Coogan, William Daniels, Bruce Lee, and Kenneth Tobey are among the others I recognized in the film.

Marlowe has a problem. Orfamay wants him to find her brother. He gets a lead that takes him to a fleabag hotel. He doesn't find the brother, but he does find Jackie Coogan with a bad toupee. 

Coogan says he'll give him information if he gets any. As Marlowe leaves the hotel, he discovers that the clerk acquired a new piercing while Marlowe was upstairs--an ice pick in the brain. Marlowe returns Orfamay's $55 retainer. She's insistent, but Marlowe sends her on her way. 

At this point, or maybe after the next part, Marlowe gets a visit from Bruce Lee.

Lee does some minor remodeling on Marlowe's office and offers him a wad of cash to do nothing for a while, to not be looking for anyone. When Marlowe refuses, Lee goes into full contractor remodel mode, breaking everything in sight, including a leg of Marlowe's desk, the wall, and the glass in the door. We know we haven't seen the last of Lee.

Coogan calls from the Alvarado Hotel. He's got info on the missing brother and is offering a hundred dollars if Marlowe gets right over. Marlowe thinks it smells hinky, but goes anyway. The piercing craze must be catching on because Coogan has adopted the affectation by the time Marlowe finds him. His inspection of the new accessory is cut short by a short woman in black with a firearm. When he fails his saving throw to charm, she whacks him with the weapon and flees the scene. The hotel detective sees her run out and gets the license plate on the jag she's driving. Marlowe will later get that information and his girlfriend will let him know it belongs to the movie star Mavis Wald, played by Gayle Hunnicutt.

Marlowe does his own investigation before the cops show up and discovers that Coogan's toupee hides a ticket to a photo shop. Marlow later gets the pictures and see that they're photos of Mavis with Steelgrave--who was suspected of perfecting ice pick murders in Chicago or somewhere (I forget the place).

When Marlow goes to Mavis' apartment, he find Rita Moreno.

Mavis rejects his offer to help, but her boyfriend, whose name rhymes with heelgrave, has a couple goons explain things to him by ripping up his jacket in the search for photos and delivering a number of educational punches to his midsection.

Always resourceful, Marlowe goes to Mavis' manager or the relevant guy at the movie studio and gets the studio to hire him. Bill Daniels plays the guy.

At no point did Daniels break into song about the Declaration of Independence or try to pull rank as the school principal. 

Marlowe means to stir up Steelgrave and therefore takes his girl to Steelgrave's restaurant. He is told there's a telephone call for him, which he recognizes as a way to get him alone, and ends up on a balcony with Wong (AKA Bruce Lee). We totally see what's coming--but enjoy it anyway--when Marlowe dodges Lee's flying attack and the dragon enters a battle with gravity, which lands the final blow of the fight.

I forget why, but Marlowe goes to a doctor who may have had something to do with the missing brother. It may have been that Orfamay told him her brother was there.

Marlow has a chat with the doc who offers him a cigarette--which inspires an irresistible urge in Marlowe to spend several hours smelling the carpet.

When Marlowe has absorbed all the carpet odor he can take, he stumbles out of the room and hears a couple shots. He goes up the stairs to embrace the missing brother who staggers out to plant an ice pick in Marlowe's back. Brother takes his final exit down life's stairway with a bullet or two helping him on his way.

Carroll O'Connor, the police lieutenant (and this probably happened earlier in the show than where I'm putting), is getting a little weary of dead bodies turning up in Marlowe's vicinity. He has questions about why Marlowe's card was found on Jackie Coogan's body. Also, I forget when, Rita Moreno pays Marlowe a visit and they have one of the most interesting kisses I've seen on film.

SPOILER ALERT -- this movie is over 50 years old, but I'll bet most of you haven't seen it. If you plan to see it and don't want to know the end game, skip down to this point: ***

 

 

Marlowe goes home to find Orfamay trashing his place in a search for the missing photos. The detective had discovered a picture at the missing brother's place showing him, Orfamay, and Mavis as siblings. Mavis shows up and the sisters go bitter-sibling-girl-fight and it becomes clear that Orfamay was supposed to get a cut of the blackmail money that brother was supposed to get from Mavis. When brother didn't contact her soon enough, she came to California with her greedy cleats on. She sold out brother to Steelgrave for a grand and sent Marlowe over to intervene before Steelgrave could kill brother--but it hadn't worked out that way.

Later, Rita Moreno finds Marlowe to let him know that Mavis is at Steelgrave's and is in trouble, asking for him. She drives him to the place and leaves. He finds Mavis alive and stunned. Steelgrave may have been stunned earlier--just before the bullet in his chest left him very unalive. Marlowe tries to save the day by getting her out of there and staging the scene as best he can.

 Archie O'Connor isn't having it and tells Marlowe that he's not nearly a big enough meathead to buy this scene. He orders Marlowe arrested, even taking a punch at the titular detective. Fortunately for Garner's face, the sergeant steps in and catches the fist on his own mug. O'Connor is sobered and has Marlowe get out.

Marlowe's putting puzzle pieces together and goes to see Rita Moreno. While she performs her stage number, she confirms his suspicions that she's the one who killed Steelgrave--her old flame until he fell for Mavis--and Mavis pretended to be the killer. Marlowe goes to call the cops. The doc with the special cigarettes (an ex of Rita's) shows up and tries to rekindle the romance with a dose of hot lead. Although the bullet gets her attention, her mood is more moribund than amorous, and the doc tests the gun on himself with the same results. Marlowe drives away before the cops show up and the credits role.

***

What to make of this "neo-noir" from 1969? Would it have been better in black and white? Probably. It has Garner and Moreno and hits the notes of a basic Chandler story. Garner brings a different tone than Bogart did to the Chandler adaptation. He's great. He's different, but he's great; his Marlowe doesn't have far to go to arrive at Rockford a few years in the future. The ending lacked satisfaction in my opinion. The events in the film felt somewhat scattered or unfocused. I don't know whether that was a writing issue or a directing issue. The dialog stood out for me as the best part. Marlowe's wry quips may have lacked the deadpan gravel delivery that Bogart featured, but they were perfect Garner and provided the most consistent notes in the story. I'll have to watch it again to catch what I missed the first time. Maybe my opinion will change.

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On the writing front: It's happening. I spent part of yesterday re-reading, editing, and getting back into the bugmageddon story. I should start hearing back on short story submissions next month.