Moria Security

We had escaped unscathed through Customs, or so we thought.

We followed the path that left Customs. It led us between a wall or barrier, and a huge luggage claim area. At the end of the path was Gandalf. He had cleverly concealed his true identity with an official uniform of some sort. He sat at a lofty desk as if it were some regal tribunal. 

Before the incognito Gandalf stood an older couple. They both seemed quite tall, or maybe we just seemed small. He asked them if they had any luggage. They said that they did, but that it was not with them. He said, "You shall not pass!" Or words to that effect. 

The tall ones responded that their luggage was being transferred to the domestic flight, and they did not need to get their luggage.

He said, "Without your luggage, you shall not fly, you fools!"

They said the airline had told them that they would not have to pick up their luggage from the international flight; it would be transferred automatically.

He said, "You shall not pass!"

After watching this little scenario play out about three times in succession, with Gandalf refusing to let them pass, and the oversize travelers insisting that they did not need to retrieve their luggage, all the while watching time tick away, knowing that our flight was supposed to board soon, but not knowing how far we would have to go to find it, I asked if we could pass. He asked if we had any luggage. I said that we didn't. He let us pass.

As far as I know, the lofty voyagers are still there today insisting that they do not need to get their luggage, while Gandalf refuses to let them pass without it. 

From there, we passed through the cavernous wasteland that is the San Francisco Airport. It seemed like many nights and days that we traveled in our search for the portal that would take us from this strange land. Eventually, after much trial and hardship, our faces suffering from the fierce breeze of the air conditioning, and our legs and feet numbed by the endless yards of smooth and level tile broken only by great moving sidewalks, we arrived. 

We had to go through security again. This caught us by surprise. We still had full water bottles that we had filled at the Paris airport. This discovery drew groans from the people in line behind us. Everyone knows that you can't take liquids on the plane--except you can if you fill them after you get through security. My wife had purchased these water bottles specifically for the trip so that we could do just that: take them empty through security and then fill them so we would have water on the flight. I took the time to empty my bottle into the garbage can at the suggestion of the security guard (drawing more groans from the people in line behind us). My wife just tossed her bottle into the trash. Of course, she regretted it. Probably, she mostly regretted me telling her that she should've done that...

We made our gate just in time...just in time to find out that our flight would be delayed for a couple hours. Every flight that we had had into or out of SFO had been delayed; it was a perfect record.

Next time: The Last Jet I...