Cursed Ruins Restart

 Les Freres Corses were at it again -- the "it" in question being miniatures, dice, and the Cursed Ruins. One may recall that their first attempt at imposing their will on the denizens of the place ended rather poorly for their characters: Gratell and Charo Lefrevre. "Poorly" being, of course, a euphemism for irretrievably clenched in the jaws of defeat, despair, and certain death. The full account of that parade of horrible decisions can be found here. 

It has been a few months since we had first embarked on the adventure, so we had a quick chat about the lessons learned in that prior attempt: Don't leave your wing man, and do march to the sound of guns (or clash of steel, as the case may be).

Charo II began again by roping the ladder/drawbridge. I had added a pursuing menace to the mix and rolled a d6 at each failed attempt of a task required for getting into the ruin. When the total on the d6s exceeded 20, the menace would catch up to them. Fortunately, we only got to 16 before they were safely across the soul sucking marsh and into the sturdy stone of the ruin.

 

Les Freres demonstrated that they had learned from previous experience. They stayed together instead of running about willy-nilly for the next sparkly object. Again, the wooden treasure chest disappointed them with only dust and dead bugs this time. However, they did manage, along with the slaying of 3 goblinesque baddies, to find a healing potion and a 50 mark gem. (They elected to have the currency of the realm be "marks" as opposed to gold pieces, crowns, kroners, ducats, or dried monkey brains. (I may have added that last one; it probably wasn't actually brought up during the game). 

 Things did get pretty bad for them when they met a man on the way to St. Ives skilled creature wielding nasty twin blades. He had one for each of the heroes and served them-- Oh. I forgot. Before they met him, they met a big fighter with a shield and sharp blade with which he had a hankering to hew; and hew he did. He gave the heroes some wounds. There's no specific limit to the number of wounds a character can receive before he dies or goes hors de combat, but wounds do have consequences for movement, skills, and combat. As a practical matter, a wounded character is more likely to get more wounds or be killed in combat. Gratell II decided to consume his healing potion, but it only cured one of his multiple wounds.

Gratell II then remembered that he was a wizard and hit the big hewer with a sleep spell. The attempt met with complete success, and they delivered the coup de grace to the sleeper. It was then that they met the creature with the twin blades, and that one demonstrated his courtesy by giving each hero a hefty helping of his steel. No sluggards in the courtesy department, Charo and Gratell gave him samples of their own. However, things were looking bad for our protagonists, especially when Gratell II's dice betrayed him like a wily Shetland pony, leaving him with bite marks and hoof prints on his back. If the dice remained as rolled, he would be on his way to assuming room temperature. Fortunately, the master of this little set-to had provided our heroes with points to spend in such dire situations. Gratell II cashed in those chips to avoid cashing in his chips and saved himself from death. He was still badly wounded, but managed to stay on his feet and keep all his appendages attached.

After finally overcoming the double-stabbing dude, they ransacked the room for loot. They found a huge sapphire which glowed with a mysterious light. Gratell II had taken the first two treasures and had promised this third to Charo II--it's always a good idea to keep the guy with the shield and big sword happy and alive; both useful qualities in a meatshield when one is deep in a monster infested ruin. They had some discussion and Charo II picked it up. He found himself not only tickled, but healed of all his wounds. He was gracious enough to allow the wizard to handle the gem, and he too received the total health restoration. It looks like the gem may even have one more such restoration dose left in it if the glow is any indication.

Les Freres  sensed that they were nearing the end of the adventure (in fact, they have 3 areas left to clear) and were keen to finish, but the clock spoke with a voice of warning and we had to put it away. The final push will have to wait until we can get together again to visit the cursed cauldron and see what mysteries it may hold. (The last two areas remain hidden under the dark green cover, and the heroes are facing two enemies in the discovered-but-unentered room. Those enemies were alerted when Charo fumbled his metal mirror when looking around the doorway into the corners, and it went clanking against the stone floor).

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In the war against unwritten stories, I anticipate sending in a victory tomorrow for a publisher's consideration, and I've started a new battle in the campaign. I've also looked at logistics and decided on two or three future clashes. It's a target rich environment.

Wyrd Warfare is getting some great reviews. Pick it up while you can.

 

 

 

Wyrd Warfare

 

 Here's the cover of the latest anthology in which one of my stories is featured. The editor had this to say in the introduction about my story: "[Wheeler] demonstrates the gallantry and the butchery of the Napoleonic Wars amplified to 'eleven.' He also wrote the best exchange of dialogue in a book filled with great exchanges."* The story is "Seventh Hussar and Aide to the Mage." You can get it here. I reread it earlier today, and enjoyed it again. It's smack-dab in the center of the book, which is filled with great stories.

 

*Currently, the ebook (and probably print as well) fails to list my name in the introduction, erroneously giving the name of an author who wrote the WW2 short story preceding mine. My story is the only Napoleonic tale in the anthology, and I've confirmed with the editor it was me and my story/dialogue to which he referred. A correction, although not demanded, has been promised.

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I was in a meeting earlier today in which someone mentioned that a third-party wasn't responding, or didn't seem genuine in her responses. Naturally, I had to say, "She was immune to your consultations." Nobody got the reference. Not only that, I couldn't remember either the song title or artist to which I was alluding. The other folks in the meeting thought I was using legal jargon. Fortunately, the handheld device was right at, well, hand. I did a quick search to reveal the source song and artist. Even then, no one else recognized it.

On the other hand, a coworker did get a couple of the three musical references I made within her hearing. All I can say about that is two out of three ain't bad.

Doing some reading in French, as I often do. I was struck by the difference in the French and English words for "now." The English word has but three letters. The word compacts a sense of urgency within the narrow confines of its brevity. Two consonants sandwich a single vowel. The first vowel is quickly formed with the tongue tapping the palate immediately behind the teeth. The second consonant has the advantage of requiring almost no oral action at all--merely a slight constricting of the lips and passage. The word can be a burst of sound enunciated with the leading letter to be squelched at once or drawn out by holding the vowel and final consonant. The W is a doorman who can slam the door or hold it open for emphasis. "Now" is perfectly suited to its purpose.

The French word, "maintenant," au contraire, does not lend itself to the hammer blow imperative of insistent immediacy. It has ten letters. For those of you running low on mathematical wizardry spells, that's more than three times the letters in "now." Notwithstanding the fact that the French have a penchant for ignoring many of the soldiers within the ranks of a given word, it's still at least a two syllable word (technically three, but that "e" in the middle is really just to tip-off the neighboring "t" to the fact that he needs to answer the roll call even though his mate at the end of the word could go awol and not be missed). The word begins with the lips entirely closed for the "m." To add insult to injury (and other cliches), the two syllables are both nasal, making one shouting the word by itself sound like the bearer of a speech impediment or a double-squeezed goose. It's a no-win combo of sound.

English for the win on this duel of rival tongues. Why do I bring this up? No reason. It's just something I noticed and spent more time thinking about than it deserved. I'm sure there are other battles that French might win. (I refrained from making an old joke here. I'm sure you can figure out what it was). For instance, could there be a better language for poetry? When you can make the "O" sound with 14 different combinations of letters, you're going to have big advantage in the rhyming words skirmish. However, I suspect that Shakespeare would be willing to contest the matter.

 

Check out all my books and published short stories here.

 

 

 

The Men Who Lost America

 

I finally finished The Men who Lost America by Andrew Jackson O'Shaughnessy. I've already posted a few fun facts based on some chapters. I plan to post more. 

Rather than a narrative of the war, TMWLA looks at the major players on the British side, from George III, Lord North, the Howe brothers, Burgoyne, Clinton, Cornwallis, Admiral Rodney, and the Earl of Sandwich, and their roles in the war and its outcome. (I may have missed a couple of the players -- I'm going on memory).

O'Shaughnessy says in the introduction that it seemed like a war Great Britain should have won, a holy war against dangerous principles that threatened to subvert every system respected by civilized men. Many in England believed it would be a certain victory and that the retention of America was crucial to England's position as a great power. The author calls the British leadership "able and substantial individuals who nevertheless failed."

Why did they fail? Great Britain underestimated the task. Some of the specifics include: The loyalist support never materialized in the numbers imagined; the administration was not up to the task of efficiently handling the war over 3,000 miles from London; and the Royal Navy lacked the men and ships to blockade the American coast, coordinate with the army for amphibious operations, deal with the multitude of privateers, and protect both the Caribbean and the channel. The vast size of the colonies and England's inability to control territory beyond the port towns also contributed to the loss.

O'Shaughnessy does recognize that the British had opportunities to win, and might have done so had they faced opponents with less skill, ability, and luck - naming Washington and Greene as two of the most significant ones. He also suggests that the Americans had opportunities to end the war earlier that they were not able to seize. Blunders and missteps were plentiful on both sides.

I highly recommend the book. The information about specific battles is limited because it's not that kind of book. It's about the men in charge and is loaded with biographical information as well as details on their strengths, weakness, and the obstacles they faced in their respective capacities. I give it 5 out of 5 broadsides.

Book One in my Tomahawks and Dragon Fire Series features an appearance by both Howe brothers. In fact, General Howe makes appearances throughout the first six books in the series.

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My noir story is almost ready to submit. Another half-hour of editing should do it. I plan to submit it tomorrow night. My wyrd western short story is still in the early stages, but I anticipate a rapid completion over the next week. After that, who knows?

 

 

Lindsey Kinsella

 Interview with Lindsey Kinsella

Author of

The Lazarus Taxa

 

 Please tell me a little about your current work in progress.

My next book is quite the departure from my first—hopping genres from sci-fi to fantasy. The Heart of Pangaea follows a young girl on a quest through a world within her subconscious to find a cure for her sick mother. It’s an emotional story, but it’s also quirky and fun—I’ve really tried to inject a good dose of humour to balance things out.

Where did you get the idea for this book or series?

My primary inspiration for my current book, The Lazarus Taxa, stemmed from my love of natural history and paleontology. I felt there was a lack of diversity in how dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals are portrayed in popular media, and I wanted to bring a different, more up to date perspective to the world. The story of time travel, conspiracy and greed organically grew from that initial premise.

Do you write in more than one genre?

Yes! The only book I have currently available is sci-fi, but my current project is fantasy and I have plans to write some horror. I have an eclectic reading taste, and that filters through into my writing.

Tell me about something that you believe makes your writing unique or worthy of attention.

I think the blend of fiction and non-fiction is probably the most unique aspect of The Lazarus Taxa. I wanted to tell a good story as a priority, but I also wanted the reader to learn a little about natural history. The book is spattered with Segway/inter-chapters which delve into evolution, extinction, and deep time.

 

Is there anything about your personal history or personality that manifests strongly in your writing?

As an engineer and an avid classic car enthusiast, I’m pretty mechanically minded. I think this filters through most obviously when writing sci-fi as it often involves inventing fictional technologies. I think my background really helps me to make these grounded and believable.

What else would be helpful for readers to know about you?

While I like to build tension, emotion, and provide some insight into the science behind the science fiction, I also like to break it up with some humour. I like to make my readers laugh as much as I like to make them cry or hide behind the sofa!

Excluding your own work, what underrated author or book would you recommend that more people read? Why?

“The Mud Man” by Donna Marie West would be my choice. I discovered Donna as an editor first (she edited The Lazarus Taxa) but soon found she was also a rather talented author herself. The Mud Man is a fairly new release—I had the honour of reading an advanced reader copy before it was published—and it damn near brough me to tears. It tells the tale of a paleolithic mad who is revived after being trapped in permafrost for thousands of years, and how he struggles to adapt to modern life.

Which of your books do you most highly recommend? Why?

Well, for now, I only have the one available, so I will highly recommend The Lazarus Taxa!

Which break, event, decision, or fortuitous circumstance has helped you or your writing career the most?

COVID lockdown, strangely. As a full-time naval architect, parent of two, restorer of cars, and organizer of events—there wasn’t a whole lot of time for much else. However, first lock down meant I could no longer do the latter (most years I organize car shows during the summer months) and freed up some time to sit down and write. I genuinely doubt I’d have even started if not for that time.

What question do you wish you would get asked more often?

I’d love to be asked more questions about the specifics of the book, but I can never answer them without giving away spoilers! I guess that’s the nature of a mystery-format novel.

Do you have a catch-phrase or quote that you like? What is it? And why do you choose it?

One I saw recently has stuck with me.

“Days before Wilbur Wright flew, he was just the latest man to crash.”

It’s a little reminder that failure is part of the process and I think it applies to writing too. I don’t think many authors nail it on their first draft.

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Thanks to Lindsey for participating.

In my own Sisyphean endeavor against the blank screen, I've budged the boulder almost to the summit. I completed another short story yesterday. I'll review it tomorrow and send it off to my Skirmish Team for corrections and critique.

These giveaways and discounts are coming to an end soon:

Looking for non-human characters in fantasy and sci-fi?

Falling into fantasy books on sale here.

This one is brand new: Free Sci-fi and Fantasy for March

Speaking of great stories, don't forget to enjoy these two flash fiction winners by Susan Johnson and Marica Bernstein.

 

80s Double Feature - The Ice Pirates and Krull

 During my workout sessions on the M5, I watched The Ice Pirates and Krull over the last week or so. Both of these movies contain many of the necessary ingredients for great movies, but each fails in its own way.

The Ice Pirates (1984), directed by Steward Rafill, written by Rafill and Stanford Sherman, features a cast that would go on to become bigger stars. If you haven't seen this 40 year old movie, don't worry. I'm not going to give any spoilers.

Robert Ulrich plays the pirate captain Jason.

Mary Crosby plays Princess Karina.

 

Anjelica Huston plays pirate Maida, but doesn't really get to do much.

Ron Perlman plays another pirate, Zeno, and Michael D. Roberts plays Roscoe (in the picture below, left). John Matuszak plays Killjoy. (That is not Matuszak on the right).

 The Ice Pirates manages to take some good actors (and John Matuszak) and run them through a silly story that doesn't make much sense. There are pirates and space ships and robots and lasers and swords. There's even a vehicle with huge wheels and a horned skull running down people. So, one's first thought, naturally, is: What's not to love? Well, a lot. First, it's a parody, so it should be funny. I mean, we've got a busy intersection collision between Star Wars, Space Balls (3 years before Space Balls), Star Crash, and Mad Max. It should be tremendous fun but it's not. 

It is mildly entertaining. Most of the humor is on the lame side, but I did laugh once or twice. It is fun at a jr. high school level--that's probably why I laughed a couple times. I remember watching it back in the 80s on TV connected to a thing called a VCR. My cousin Bob rented it at the video store so he could show it to me as I was out of the country when it came out. That's the main reason I wanted to see it again, so I could remember that time with Bob. Give it a try if you want. It doesn't leave you any stupider than you were to begin with for having watched it. I give it 2.75 chuckles out of five.

Krull (1983), directed by Peter Bates, written by Stanford Sherman, stars Kenneth Marshall as Colwyn and Lysette Anthony as Lyssa.
 

 

 The bit players in the show are better known to me than the stars.

 Francesca Annis (with Freddie Jones behind the glass globe) doesn't get nearly enough screen time as the woman in the web.

Liam Neeson and Alun Armstrong are bandits who join the hero in his quest to save the world and the galaxy with his multi-pronged pocketknife. Liam went on to take some small roles in action adventure flicks where he could put his set of very special skills to work. Alun seems to have been cast as a villain in subsequent roles that I remember. I believe I first saw him in The Duellists, which I have discussed previously, and I also recall him in The Hollow Crown and The Mummy Returns.
 

Robbie Coltrane got bigger roles, including that of a friendly giant in an obscure film series featuring a boy wizard, and he landed a nice spot as both a villain and friend in a couple Bond movies. 

As for the movie itself, I'm afraid it makes less sense than The Ice Pirates. This one also came out when I was out of the country, so I missed the hype when it was first released. As I watched it, I had to wonder if the movie was hoping to spawn a popular video game. I know it's a favorite for many, but it seemed poorly written and not well executed. There were some cool ideas, but they never managed to ring the awesome bell. The most interesting character was the unskilled magician. We never got enough information or character development from even the main characters to really care about any of them. The Krull device for which the movie must be named, was quite effective against the minions of evil when the hero finally got to use it, but was mostly a dud against the creature feature villain, who instead was slain by the power of true love. I thought that if the baddie had been only a little more committed to taking out the hero, he could've ended the adventure much sooner with a victory. His casual approach to terminating the hero hardly seemed like the machinations of a galactic tyrant. I give the movie 2.5 out of 5 multi-tools.

I was hoping that I would've enjoyed both of these more than the little I did. Instead, I found two more movies I won't need to watch again.