In addition to mowing the green horde--but hold on, let me address the defense of the fortress against the horde. The cooperation of the Craftsman Warmachine is a prerequisite, based on the ancient treaty of 2012, for engaging the with the verdant enemy. The warmachine was in dire need of having its blades sharpened. Therein lies a tale. I'll be brief:
In order to sharpen the blades, I needed to remove them. To remove the blades, I needed to raise the front end of the machine to expose the killing mechanisms. To raise the front, I needed to drive it up two planks. To drive it up two planks, I needed something elevated against which I could place the planks. Although I could've carried the planks and driven the warmachine to the tailgate of the pickup, I elected to bring the mountain to Muhammed. However, the mountain wouldn't start after a year or more of sitting rooted to the landscape. Fortunately, I had the box of persuasion to attach to the mountain's battery. After a few tries, and on what I had determined was to be the very last try before Muhammed would have to do the moving, the mountain roared to life.
There were more complications, but I realize the account of the Cursed Ruins Finale is what you're here for, so I'm leaving out the minor complications.
The sharpening went smoothly, and pursuant to the agreement of 2012 and the various addendums adopted through the years, Warmachine and I waged holy war against the emerald army. I had previously disabled the pickets of the horde with a preemptive strike with the weed eater. Two weed eaters, actually, but therein lies more complicated details involving gas, string, and the mystery of why one whirly-stringy killer thing became a conscientious objector after only five minutes of not-very-stealthy slaughter of the enemy sentries.
Anyway, we smote the green horde hip and thigh and came away with victory
Now, to the Cursed Ruins Finale:
Behold the guardian of the Cursed Cauldron--also called the Cauldron of Mystery. Hold on, we're not there yet. When we last left our heroes, they faced two doughty foes in the Cursed Ruins and had but begun the battle when bedtime beckoned. We resumed the adventure at that point. After some missteps, Gratell II found himself wounded and attacked by one adversary with the other nearby and ready to join the assault upon his person. The wizard took a serious wound but ignored the hurt to grab his antagonist and hurl him into the other approaching meany. Both of the foes were armed with sharp steel, and in the impact of one with the other, regrettably there was an incident of friendly piercing. That pair of foes never recovered the upper hand in the fray, and Gratell and Charo dispatched these minions within the ruins. They also located a pair of treasures which healed their hurts, restored some of their heroic points, and proved crucial to their endeavor. The lantern lit the right path, revealed traps, and discerned the purpose and use of magic objects, including the ring of fire.
With an abundance of caution, our heroes entered the courtyard before the cauldron chamber. One of the guards at the chamber door spied Charo and ran at him, calling to his foul companion. Charo and Gratell made a tactical retreat, outdistancing they guards who may have been uncertain about leaving their posts at the door. Our adventurers for hire grabbed their rope and positioned themselves at opposite sides of the first doorway. They let the first creature with the spiked club pass through on the run. He bolted through, continuing through the next room. When the second guard burst through the doorway, they snagged his foot by raising the rope with perfect timing. They quickly dispatched the fallen enemy and tried to run the same trick on the other minion when he realized his error and raced back too late to help his comrade. Their timing was off, so he didn't trip, but they succeeded in quickly acquainting him with the hereafter.
Gratell used a spell to bust open the magic lock and reveal the giant smoking cauldron with its armored guardian within.
The guardian met their attack by casting a scoop of mysterious mist from the cauldron in their direction. The resulting horrible scream had Gratell backing out of the room but otherwise unharmed. When they renewed the assault, the guardian repeated the throw, dousing the heroes in darkness, but it dissipated before the guardian could get within striking distance. After a little skirmish and maneuver, Charo remembered that he had this cool new piece of jewelry emblazoned with flames. The fearless adventurers backed away to make sure the magic flames wouldn't rebound to barbecue them as well. The guardian had a chance to close the distance and expound on the wounds they had received, but he was not quick enough, and Charo (an apt name at this point) dispatched a blazing message that entirely bathed the guardian in flame. His armor was no help and the baptism by fire proved fatal.
But wait, there's more. Not only did they fill the flask with some contents of the cauldron as they were hired to do, despite the warnings, Gratell quaffed the contents. Luck was with him, and he received a benefit that I can't recall at the moment, along with a 24 hour curse on his social interactions. Charo decided to follow with a gulp of his own, receiving 3 abilities that included breathing underwater; I forget the other two. The accompanying curse causes him to go berserk for a turn whenever he takes a wound. He was less thrilled about his snootful than was Gratell.
Next time: Getting the flask to the patron.
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